Two women with pink hair standing next to each other.

Part 5: Your Wardrobe and Partner… The Results Of The 2024 Crossdressing All Gurl Survey

Open up gurl, we are coming in...

That’s right, to have a peek inside your wardrobe. Is it hidden or on display? How extensive is it and does your partner know about your femme side? And if so, how do they feel about it?

This is a tough section as so many of us find ourselves in relationships where we are unable to fully be ourselves, sometimes with those we are most attracted to.

 

Your Gurly Wardrobe

Considering how many clothes you have, how would you consider your wardobe?

No Data Found

A bar chart showing how many clothes you have in your wardrobe.

Again a relatively even spread with most of us gurls not owning a single pair of heels. That makes me sad.

High Heels

How many pairs do you own?

No Data Found

High heels how many pairs do you own.

It makes me sad that the majority of us don’t own a single pair of high heels.

Visibility

Do you keep your girl clothes hidden?

No Data Found

Visibility do you keep your girl's closet clean?.

No surprises that most of us keep our secrets, well, secret. But a healthy quarter of us are way out in the open.

How far do you go?

Do you enjoy makeup and wigs too?

No Data Found

How far do you go? how far do you go? how far do you go? how far do you go? how far do you go?.

Of course we love makeup and wigs. So pretty. So feminine.

Partners

Do you have, or have you had, a committed partner?

No Data Found

Partners do you have a locked partner?.

Looks like most of us have or have had a long term relationship of some kind.

Partners

Did / do they know you crossdress?

No Data Found

A bar chart with the words partners do you know you created?.

About half knew about our secrets, with the other half remaining hidden, unsure if they knew or have not had a relationship long enough for it to be an issue.

Partners

If they did / do know about your crossdressing, how did / do they react?

No Data Found

A pie chart with different types of patterns.

The big surprise here was a whopping 20% didn’t leave an answer. Another 20% of partners knew about it, and forbade it. Close behind were partners who knew, but did not want to participate. It seems we have some way to go when it comes to out lovers and their acceptance.

Comments Analysis

  1. Acceptance and Support: A significant number of comments reflect a desire for acceptance and support from partners. Phrases like “I think it’s important to have a partner who is loving and accepting” and “My wife lovingly accepts my dressing” highlight the positive impact of acceptance. This theme is significant, as it not only encompasses emotional support but also participation in activities, sharing clothes, or even introducing crossdressing to the partner.

  2. Secret Keeping and Fear of Discovery: Many individuals express fear and anxiety about their partners discovering their crossdressing. Statements like “I need to be careful that she doesn’t know” and “Not sure how my partner would react” indicate a prevalent concern about negative repercussions, including the potential for ruining marriages or relationships.

  3. Struggle for Openness: Several comments suggest a struggle between the desire for openness and the need for privacy or secrecy. For example, “She’s certainly tried to accept it more both in the bedroom and out of it but she’s made it clear that she wants it to remain private” and “I want it more open” illustrate this tension.

  4. Sexual Dynamics: The role of crossdressing in sexual relationships is another prominent theme. Comments range from expressing how it enhances sexual experiences (“Her arousal with me dressed as a woman matches my own”) to those where it causes conflict or divergence in sexual preferences.

  5. Diversity in Partner Responses: The responses of partners to crossdressing vary widely. Some are very supportive, sharing clothes and participating in related activities, while others are unsupportive or even cause relationship breakdowns, as in “When my 2nd wife discovered it it was like instant divorce.”

  6. Impact on Family Dynamics: In some cases, crossdressing affects family dynamics, particularly when children are involved. For instance, “It’s difficult at home, my autistic son doesn’t accept Mandy but my autistic daughter and my wife accept me” shows how family members can have differing reactions.

  7. Identity and Relationship Evolution: Several comments reflect on how crossdressing has influenced their personal identity and relationship evolution. Statements like “I was changing. My mindset was changing. I wanted to become a woman” suggest a profound impact on personal identity and life choices.

  8. Communication and Honesty: The importance of communication and honesty in relationships is highlighted. Comments like “Alot of women find it arousing I’ve found. Perhaps I was just lucky? I always tell them from the beginning” emphasize the significance of being open from the start.

  9. Negotiation and Compromise: The need for negotiation and compromise in relationships where crossdressing is involved is evident. Some partners set boundaries (“At first she reacted badly but over a couple of months she accepted it but did not want to participate”), indicating a need for ongoing negotiation.

  10. Emotional Conflict: Emotional conflict is a recurring theme, with individuals expressing wishes like “I wish my wife would embrace it” or concerns about feeling unfulfilled in their relationships due to their crossdressing.

A painting of two women posing for a photo.

Comments left by the gurls...

“I love my wife but I have this side to me that I’m finding harder to suppress so I need to be careful that she doesn’t know I am still cross dressing. I wish she would embrace my kink but alas it can’t be. I’m fearful that it could ruin our marriage and my secret will be out. Even my closest friends don’t know I cross dress”


“I think it’s important to have a partner who is loving and accepting of who and what you are.”

“It’s difficult at home, my autistic son doesn’t accept Mandy but my autistic daughter and my wife accept me and want me to do loads more like go to Glasgow pride.. I just don’t have the confidence”

“I wish my partner was a little more accepting”

“My wife lovingly accepts my dressing and shares her clothes, lingerie, and makeup with me (helps we have a similar build/same size). Her arousal with me dressed as a woman matches my own and we have a lovely time.”

“My wife knows that i wear lingerie. But not that i love full crossdressing.”

“Not sure how my partner would react if she was to find out that I am a cross dresser”

“She’s certainly tried to accept it more both in the bedroom and out of it but she’s made it clear that she wants it to remain private. I want it more open so have been experimenting with gender neutral styles and some more generic female items like jumpers and trousers.”

“I discovered a liking for crossdressing thanks to my girlfriend (now fiancee). She dressed and made me up the first time and has been very into it ever since. She loves seeing new outfits I put together or admiring when I improve my bodyshaping technique. She is more than a bit bisexual herself so she finds me crossdressing a big turn on, particularly when I play the dominant girl”

“Gender play is very present in our day-to-day sex life. “forced femme” is a fantasy of mine, but my partner likes to tell me if she truly wanted to domme me she’d force me to wear men’s clothes all the time, since no force is necessary to get me femme.”

“My wife has known since the start of our relationship. She has bought me makeup, shoes and underwear. She’s even painted my toes for me.”


“I have had a partner who knew early from the start that I loved to dress-up. She helped me and we had sex while I was dressed up. But over the years she said I was going to far with it. She made rules wich I couldn’t keep. We had fights about it. I had to quit totally from her. I couldn’t do that. So I hid my girly things. She found out. Again huge quarrels about it. But I was changing. My mindset was changing. I wanted to become a woman and she tried to stop it. It lasted ten years because of much love and then after a last fight we decided to brake up and I started my transition.”

“I have dated and been with multiple women as Monica”

“Alot of women find it arousing i’ve found. Perhaps i was just lucky? I always tell them from the beginning so that there were no surprises.”

“My current partner accepts my dressing but a previous one really encouraged it, bought me clothes and loved me being her mistress”

“When my 2nd wife discovered it it was like instant divorce. We can not expect someone to understand in 20 minutes what has taken so many of us 20 years to understand.”

“After 30 years I find it hard to believe she doesn’t suspect something, but she has never mentioned it.”

“I wish my wife would embrace it.”

“My wife was initially turned off by it. But she gained acceptance as we experimented sexually and came to terms with what we would do sexually.”

“Have not had a committed partner while crossdressing.”

“Came out to the wife about 6 years ago. At first she reacted badly but over a couple months she accepted it but did not want to participate. I am allowed to dress at home but without heels, makeup, dresses, skirts. I do wear tops and skirts sometimes though.”

“My wife found my facebook page of my femme self, and it was very much a shock to her! We had a huge heart to heart and she slowly came around and accepted this part of me, though she encouraged, and I did take down the facebook page due to privacy concerns.”

“I would love to try makeup, I’ve only used mascara and lipstick/gloss. I don’t have any privacy to do my makeup. I do have a wig but don’t wear it often. I am currently single but I don’t think I would be doing this behind my partners back, and I would never come out to them.”

“Makeup but not wigs. I have grown out my hair.”

“My gf knew I was crossdressing from day one.”

“My girlfriend (14 years now) figured it out quite early in our dating phase. I was actually in small purge mode when we met. I started aging and wasn’t pleased with myself how I now looked dressed. I was down to stockings and panties at this point but still shaved daily. She finally brought it up as more of why don’t dress for me since I know you do and don’t mind. This started as occasionally and moved in to fully time after she moved in two years later. She has picked out most of my wigs, since I can’t grow my hair out due to work and taught me to dress for my new body type. Her biggest demand is making me wear extremely hi heels. I never did much with heels as being 6’4″ to start with. Now I own nothing less than a 5″ heel and most are 1 1/2 platforms with a 6 to 7 inch heel. I also own a pair of ballet boots she loves.”

“I never got a chance to start crossdressing when I was still with my ex and the way our relationship ended I am kind of glad she didn’t know”

“I’ve been with my partner for forty years, and I know her opinion of crossdressers and other transgender groups.
She would be horrified to find out about my secret.”

“One of the reasons I crossdress is because we haven’t had a sex life for many years. When I slip into panties, a nightie, stockings, and high heels, I’m in heaven.”

“When I get the chance I write my erotica when crossdressed, and I feel a part of the story.”

“If for some reason my relationship ended tomorrow, I’d remain unattached, but feel free to experiment more with my secret passion.”

 

Four girls with pink hair sitting next to each other.

“I just want to be accepted as a girlie girl”


“My wife would not approve of me crossdressing.”

“Would like to crossdress more with my Wifes help.

“Would like makeup help and outfit choices.”

“She likes that I crossdress.”

“My wife has been more engaged about my sissy homosexual side and has begun experiencing it as part of her orgasm process. we are looking at taking it further this year”

“I am in the very early stages of my journey, I do love my partner still and she loves me. We were “besties” before we got married and still try to be that even if we are not sexually active with each other. I know she does not fully understand my drive, commitment, desire etc. which is understandable as I don’t fully understand it myself just yet. I believe she wants to be supportive and understanding as much as she can though. If I was alone in live, without a partner or family, I would likely being doing all I possibly could to fully transition right now. But I love and respect my family so I need to continue to be the father and husband as well (for now.) Just taking it one day at a time I suppose.”

“I don’t have my own clothes. I borrow my wife’s. Sometimes I might hide something sexy that I know she will never wear just in case she decides to throw it away but I do it in a way that if she finds them I can pretend she must have mislaid them herself eg down the back of a dresser or. kicked under furniture.”

“Both my sister and my partner love to dress me up and roleplay with me.”


“My wife found out 22 years ago about the cross dressing, we had been married just 5 years had 2 kids a new house. This rocked her world to this day, out marriage has suffered since, she said she would never let me dress, no longer have sex, no longer sleep in the same bed, she found out I was secretly seeing a gender therapist, I had a weak moment where I told her the therapist recommended I start hormones, divorce, and transition full time as a woman because it wasn’t if I was going to transition just a matter of when”

“She denied me normal sex, and instead made me dress up in whatever she wanted, usually something tight and revealing, with a chastity cage to keep me soft, while she pegged me. It was fun”

“I can’t fully predict how she would react”

“Early in our relationship she mentioned she liked it. While in bed I had her close her eyes I quickly got dressed up, I was so cute, she loved it. We shopped together and she would buy us matching panties to wear every New Years Eve. We ended up having a fourteen year relationship.”

“My wife allows me to wear lingerie when we have sex or to wear things under my clothes, mostly because she knows it makes me happy.”

“It was initially Her idea and She enjoys seeing me dressed this way. It’s sexually arousing for her, and that arouses me.”

“I was never a ladies man, due to lack of confidence, so not many opportunities for a gf to find out about Anne.

“Wish I could find a girl, who can at least accept, maybe even help me with my Anne side. I wouldn’t want to be a woman full time, but I really do think, a hetero crossdresser can be a great boyfriend/husband, as well as a secret girlfriend too”

“My wife is disgusted by the idea”

 

“Can be tough. Especially if you’re partner isn’t willing to open their mind.”

“We love trading panties and going panty and lingerie shopping together, picking things out for each other, and then having a try-on party when we get home.”

“It’s extremely difficult to find that special someone that you can trust and that they trust you. People say they are open minded but in fact many find it threatening in a strange way..”

“My wife knows the thrill I get from crossdressing- we’ve had sex whilst dressed as Ophelia but it’s not her biggest preference. She sees Ophelia mainly as a friend and understands that on occasion Ophelia may have sexual encounters with men.”

“My wife of 15 years has a hard line with makeup and wigs. so although I would love to try it, I don’t.”

“She doesn’t care that I crossdress. She doesn’t really care if I dress up in public, I jokingly say I will regularly and she eggs me on.”

“However I think she would not be to happy if I crossdressed in front of family/friends. Nor would I want to as well.”

“We’ve made love while I was fully dressed. she doesn’t see crossdressing as strictly fashion or sexual. Just a hobby.”

In the next post...

In the next post we look at who are partners are, who we wish they might be and how we enjoy our sexuality.

Jenny X

Explore The Whole Survey...

Two women kissing each other with a lollipop in their mouth.

Part 6: Sexual Partners… The Results Of The 2024 Crossdressing All Gurl Survey

Who do we like to get it on with, while in our feminine energy….​ Let’s get into the sticky details. What our past, present and future lovers look like. Always while in heels of course. Can I also just state now how much I have adored this whole prcess? Connecting with so many wonderful gurlies and hearing your deepest and darkest secrets. It’s been my honour.

Read More »
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Part 8: Conclusions… The Results Of The 2024 Crossdressing All Gurl Survey

First of all, thank you to every brave gurl who chose to share her deepest secrets, desires and even pain with us all. You are AMAZING! And a little bit sexy too.Second, I am no maths whiz or expert analysis, so much of my thoughts here are what struck me most, rather than perhaps statistically significant. And of course I would love your thoughts too.

Read More »

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