Meet Vanessa Nines… Gorgeous gurlie from our 2024 survey

Vanessa’s Story

Who are you and how do you identify?

Vanessa Nines. GenXer, born male in the USA, but now I fluctuate between male and female genders. I began crossdressing as a young adult and I’m romantically attracted to women (although I say I’m bisexual it’s because my female persona loves men). In reality I’ve not been with a man (hoping to change that soon). I found my way to this mostly through femdom, which I’ve always loved, but living more openly with my current partner is relatively new in my life.

How did your crossdressing begin?

A girlfriend moved out and left garbage bags of women’s clothes, including lingerie. I was very excited by this and tried them on, and even would get dressed up and fuck myself with a dildo. I don’t remember crossdressing earlier, but obviously the spark was there for this event to ignite it. I crossdress daily now and while I present male outwardly, I always wear panties. If I can I wear women’s clothes at home. I am trying to dress more gender ambiguous in the world, which I did in high school quite a bit (new wave and punk helped with that), but I’m trying to reconcile my desire to present femme with a desire to be a woman or present as female in the world. Since I started this journey sexualized, I have to think about just the fashion of presenting in public as a woman, if I choose to do that. Maybe I won’t? I’m exploring it now. I have gone to fetish events dressed and loved it.

Why do you think you like crossdressing?

I want to feel more like a woman. I have only gone out in public a few times and wish I could more. I like the vulnerability of being a woman in the world. It terrifies me, but when I experience it and everything goes fine, I find it very empowering. I also want to be pretty, to be seen as attractive and desirable, to be cute and wanted by men and women.

Your clothes and wardrobe?

I have a lot of clothes and heels, and I don’t really hide them now. My partner knows and  Gender play is very present in our day-to-day sex life. “forced femme” is a fantasy of mine, but my partner likes to tell me if she truly wanted to domme me she’d force me to wear men’s clothes all the time, since no force is necessary to get me femme. I’m mostly attracted to women romantically, but men sexually. That said, if I wasn’t in my current relationship I think I would try to date a man to see what would happen. In my current relationship we’ve talked about pulling a man in to play with us.

I was with one partner for 20 years who knew abstractly about my cross dressing but never engaged with it. One lover before that period played with it a bit, but the three people I’ve been with since all included crossdressing sex in our play.

Do you enjoy porn?

Yes, and nearly always femdom porn of some kind, mostly usually small producer clips. Themes I enjoy most are cuckolding, sissy, mommy domme play, female supremacy, forced-bi, and sometimes watersports (from women). I like humiliation, but not degradation.

I feel like I’m a scholar of sissy and crossdressing fantasies, and write some myself (although not, at this time, professionally). My favorite trope is men forced to dress by sadistic women who find it very entertaining, forced to have sex with men, cuckolding, and then having to admit how much they actually love it. I love “getting caught” fantasies as well, a man noticing your panties when you bend over and coercing you into sex, that sort of thing.

• These answers were drawn from our detailed 2024 Crossdresser Survey. You can read the results HERE.
• Read about the 2025 Crossdresser Survey HERE.