Episode One: Jennifer Lunden, TransErotic Actress from London

Jenny R: So welcome to this very first podcast with me, Jenny Raven. I’m nervous, I’m excited, I’m thrilled. this is part of my ongoing journey, an extension of the biography about my own personal journey, that I’ve been writing over the last year. I’m delighted to have Jennifer with me, to pop my cherry, as it were, to step, into the podcasting world. And, how are you doing, Jennifer?

Jennifer L: I’m good, thank you. Very well, thanks.

Jenny R: Well, you have a massive online presence and you’re an online creator in the erotic space and that’s one of the things I wanted to really deep dive into. I clearly I’m doing the same. I’m using written words, you’re using cameras, and video. But just so that we can get a sense of who you are, please tell me, what is your favourite outfit.

Jennifer L: To without wear, help? Lingerie, probably with a, with a nice corset, to give me some nice, a nice shape. You know, end of the day, you look in the mirror, you like what you see, you think it looks sexy and you feel sexy. Maybe six straps, suspender belt, corset, heels.

Jenny R: And how does it make you feel when you’re fully dressed?

Jennifer L: It’s an interesting question because it kind of changes over time. If you’d asked me 20 years
ago, it would have been, wow, this is amazing. This is life changing. I feel like a different person. I, feel so sexy. I feel so, it feels so erotic. And I’ll, you know, and it still feels sexy and erotic, but it doesn’t feel like a different person anymore. I’ve got way past that stage. But, you know, this is an expression of my sensual feminine side. So, you know, when I’m, when I’m dressed and looking my best, is it, okay, now I’m ready to have some fun.

Jenny R: You said 20 years. I resonate with that because there was a thing that happened about 20 years ago which was the Internet and Amazon and the ability to find and easily purchase clothing that wasn’t on the high street. Was that a watershed moment for you too?

Jennifer L: Certainly the event of the Internet. Yeah. Early fetish websites and, trans websites, realising that, you know, women not alone, in fact, it’s. Hesitate to use the word normal, but it is fairly normal actually finding that you don’t fit somewhere neatly in one end of the gender spectrum. Yeah. The ability to buy clothes. Yeah. Things like, Yeah, I mean, we had home shopping catalogues before that, if you remember. Those.

Jenny R: Oh, I certainly do.

Jennifer L: You know, when lingerie stores and high street stores like Necks and Marks and Spencers went online and it just became so much easier to buy things. yeah, it was a big moment and my bank account took a huge hit probably around that time as well. Yeah, it made it so much easier. I mean, when you’re first starting off, nobody wants to just stroll into sort of river island and buy a dress, lots of bra and panties. Nobody early on in their journey is going to have the confidence for that. So of course it’s massive. It was a massive thing.

Jenny R: Yeah, yeah. I mean, your comment about it being normal, I, I really resonate with that as well. And it’s something that I’m exploring on my own journey in so much as, I mean, my personal experience is that the people immediately around me, I can sense who, who’s going to have a reaction and who isn’t and I need to tread carefully. But beyond that inner circle, almost everybody else, it’s so unimportant. It’s just you just being you and nobody’s really bothered. It’s just you being you. And that’s. I did a big survey at the beginning of the year, asking cross dressers about their experiences. And it was very Gen X inflected, Millennial, and, a little bit of boomer. I think perhaps my questioning attracted that type of person or that age of person to answer, the questions. And it came shining through that, you know, most of the time most people had challenges with very immediate relationships. But beyond that, it, it really wasn’t so much of a big deal. And you know, I think it’s part of the world that we live in now.

Jennifer L: Yeah, I mean, you know, you live in a big city, you live in Manchester, London, you, you’re going to see trans people, you might work with trans people. There’s trans people in the media, you know, both in sort of, entertainment and, you know, and in sort of the public eye. So the challenge is always how you manage that social transition.

Jenny R: Let’s dive into, your erotic career. We’re both erotic content creators. I use words, to create my erotic imagery. How would you describe yourself in that content creator sense?

Jennifer L: Am. It’s a middle aged porn star, I think, I think, I think star is probably a bit of exaggeration, but, but yeah, I mean, I produce adult content, produce pornography. It, it is, it is what it is, you know? yeah, I think just sort of when people say content creator really these days, it’s it’s a new word for porn, isn’t it really? You know, for quite a long time now, as, as you may know, Jenny of it, I’ve felt quite, quite confident in sharing my sexual exploits online and social media. And then I think, I guess as, as the pandemic started easing, you know, I didn’t have to go into work so much, had a lot more freedom in my life. I had a change in personal circumstances. I was living on my own. I had flexibility with my work. And you know, people have been saying to me for years, why don’t you. Well, I think the thing I was asked most is why don’t you start on Only Fans? And of course I’m not actually on Only Fans as such, but I’m on an equivalent platform and I think all those years of people that, suggesting it to me and finally it made sense because I had the flexibility in my life to do that. So I did and I had a few contacts of people I thought I might like to work with. so I just, I just dived in really.

Jenny R: Tell me about film. Filming that very first clip and that moment where you press the button to say upload and how it felt and, and how that day passed or you know, that time period.

Jennifer L: So I was still, you know, obviously very much in a, in a learning process. I think the first, you know what, I can’t actually remember what the first thing I filmed with a co performer was as opposed to just solo stuff. I don’t really remember but I think I think it was possibly with a woman called Alex Amore who’s a webcam model. but we have mutual friends and she agreed to help me out with this. so booked a hotel room and we filmed three things. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had really cheap rubbish cameras but I set them up on tripods. We just sort of went for it. She, she brought a strap on with her and fucked me. Let me. I. So three different outfits, we filmed three different things. I edited it together. Again, I didn’t know what I was doing. I just downloaded some free video editing software. Just kind of put it all together, and yeah, uploaded it to my to my Fan Century site. I put a few pictures, a few still frames out there on my social media to say that hey, this is what I’ve done. But yeah, started getting subscriptions. But there was no, there was no nerves about it. There was no nerves, no apprehension, no feeling of Is this the Right thing for me to do. There was nothing like that because, I’d already been on a journey for so long of living my sex life and my fantasies out in public almost. There was no apprehension. I just sort of did it. It built over time. I think there are two or three moments where I worked with fairly high profile creators. when that happened, my profile really took off online. The subscribers really started to build. So yeah, I think that those are watershed moments. Like anybody wanting to get into the content creation space is work with people who can raise your profile. That was when it really started to take off.

Jenny R: And do you create content weekly or what is the time period and talk me through what a typical shoot would be like?

Jennifer L: Probably on average every one or two weeks. I do like a shoot with a co performer. I might do some solo stuff more frequently than that, but in terms of doing like a hardcore porn shoot, probably every couple of weeks. And I’ll try to typically get two or three videos out of the session. I’ll normally, it’ll normally be on a weekend because fitting it in after work is a bit, is a bit difficult. I still do the full time office job. so, yeah, weekend, if it’s a male co performer, I’ll try to meet them first for a coffee or at least have a phone call with them first or get in the hotel room. I’ll get ready, set up my cameras, we’ll sit down and have a chat, have a drink about, talk about what we’re going to do and then we get on with it. A lot of, a lot of my male co performers are volunteers. They’re not, they’re not creators themselves. So for those guys, they probably won’t want to show their faces on camera. So we’ll discuss, you know, how we’re going to position ourselves to make that feasible. There are certain positions or sexual positions that lend themselves well to me being in shot and them not being in shot. So we’ll talk them through that. and of course, you know, I’ll make sure that they’re really sure about doing this because once the material is out there, it’s out there. I’m not going to take it down if they change their mind. And even if I did, there’s a high chance that it’s been pirated and copied and redistributed. So they need to make sure that this is what they want. Right. So just do that sort of due diligence and then, we get on with it. try and make it fun for them. Try and make it a nice experience for everyone. when I first started doing this, I felt that, I didn’t really try to introduce any sort of plot into what I was filming. It was more just, let’s have sex and film it. But there’s only so many variations of that you can do, isn’t it? It gets monotonous. So I started introducing a plot. So I might say to the guy, right, you’re this, I’m that. I won’t give him a script, but I’ll. But I’ll say, just follow my lead. I’ll do most of the talking and I’ll just give them the cues and we’ll just, we’ll just take it from there.

Jenny R: So for me personally, a, camera lens being in an erotic situation is actually part of one of the things that presses my buttons. Is that something that is like having. Being voyeur or however you want to describe it really? Is that something that you respond to personally?

Jennifer L: Yeah. Well, I mean, I mean, I’ve read some of your work, so I know that, you know, performing for a camera is something that you find sexy and. Yeah, I mean, I do too. Although it’s more like, it’s kind of more like, I enjoy knowing that people are watching it. I enjoy knowing that people are finding it erotic. And yeah, to be blunt, people are masturbating to it. But I enjoy reading the feedback. I enjoy, the interaction, the filming itself. The mechanical experience of having a camera pointing at me itself is not something that’s sexy to me. But the end, product is. The end product definitely is creating a film that’s. That I find sexy and erotic. And knowing that other people do too is definitely a turn on for me.

Jenny R: Who do you enjoy creating in your own words? amateur porn, which I love. I adore the idea of that. Who do you love making amateur porn with most?

Jennifer L: To be honest, I enjoy working with male performers the most. I enjoy, I do work with women as well and trans girls, but I like working with men the most. that is, even though I’m Bisexual, the reality is that sex with men just does something for me that sex with women doesn’t really. It’s great working with guys who are themselves creators who are used to the routine. they don’t have any nerves in front of the camera. They know that they know how to get hard. There’s no, I don’t. There’s no sitting there for half an hour kind of thing. Are you sure you don’t Want to Viagra and sort of, sort of suck in their cock for half an hour until they’re ready to go the fluffing. There’s none of that. So working with, professional or semi professional creators, is just great because you can just get loads done. You can just get straight down to it fun. and it’s so, yeah, that is my first choice. But I do enjoy working with, as I put it, the volunteers as well, because I know that they’re there because they find me attractive. So that in itself has a certain, appeal for me. And that does tend to create a genuine intimacy between the two of us. Just me knowing that they’re there because they want to be there and they want to be with me and have sex with me does create, like an authenticity. so hope that answers your question.

Jenny R: Yeah, no, very much so. What is, you know, what is the best part of. Because obviously, you know, you’re not, you’ve got a day job and you’re not doing this for the money, so.

Jennifer L: Well, I am.

Jenny R: Well, okay, let me, let me, let me answer. Ask this again. So if there is a balance between doing this for, you know, the money, the financial reward and the pleasure, what, you know, what are those two payoffs like? Does it make enough good money and press the buttons to really effectively? do you see a future where you can give up the day job and become this full time permanently?

Jennifer L: So for me, no, because I’m not young, the reality is that I don’t have 10, 20 years ahead of me where I can do this. It’s just not, it’s just not the case. but I feel that I’ve had a taste of the potential. and if I were 25 years old, 23, 24, 25 years old, and earning what I’m earning through content, I’d probably think, yeah, this is good, I can make a career out of this. I feel I’ve had that sort of taste of it. but for somebody who’s frankly middle aged and living in London and has a mortgage, no, it’s not gonna, you can’t live off it. But, there are plenty of creators out there who can make it work financially, of course.

Jenny R: Right, let’s just talk about the best thing about doing this. What is the best thing for you personally?

Jennifer L: Just seeing the end product. a friend of mine said to me, this is, this is your equivalent of arts and crafts, isn’t it? And I had a bit of a laugh, but I said, yeah, it kind of is. Because it is probably my main hobby. It’s, you know, I love seeing the finished product. I love knowing that other people are enjoying it. I love the process of making it. I love having sex, frankly. every. Everything about it is rewarding for me. Meeting nice people, meeting people who love, like, me for this, this version of myself, if you like, you know, having sex, making a connection with people, and then creating, you know, as I mentioned earlier, creating a product which is not just a product, it has like an authenticity to it. You know, even when there’s like a sort of fictional plot line to it, there’s still two people there having sex with each other and enjoying each other’s company in each other’s bodies, you know, and, and, and creating that, Creating that video and sharing it with other people and, knowing that they’re enjoying it too. Yeah, the whole process is rewarding and sexy for me. And of course, it is financially quite rewarding as well.

Jenny R: I know we’ve already covered this, but having fans connect with you, is that a big buzz?

Jennifer L: Of course, yeah. I mean, at first I felt a bit cynical saying, oh, if you’ve subscribed to my platform, you’ve got access to my dms. You know, it seemed like a bit exploitative, but the reality is that I can’t answer all the messages I get on Instagram and Twitter and Flickr and TV chicks and all the rest. I can’t answer them all. or if I do, the most I can give is like a quick one sentence. Oh, thanks a lot, that’s great. On my fence site, interacting with my subscribers, we can go. I can make the time to actually have proper conversations and get to know them a little bit as well as vice versa. So, yeah, I mean, that’s part of my morning routine, really. I log in and see, see who’s messaged me and I make sure I give them, I give them some time and make the time to hopefully get to know a bit about them as well.

Jenny R: And what do you think? Have you been your biggest lessons on this journey?

Jennifer L: I can think of two main lessons. One, I think people are not as kinky as I thought they’d be. I thought people would want to see, bondage, domination, pegging, chastity or all this kind of thing. I thought that’s what people would want, rough sex. But really it’s not. Most people just want to see sensual, intimate sex between two people. Kissing. People love seeing kissing. That’s more of a turn on for 90% of people than seeing gets some get tied up and spanked. Most people would just much rather watch two people, you know, into each other kissing. So that, that’s, that’s one thing. I think the second lesson I’ve learned is that, you know, I spoke about how, how this is a passion and a hobby but you also need to treat it as, as a business. You need to be very well organised. you need to work very hard, very, very hard. you need to promote yourself relentlessly. you know, I’ll get some comments like saying, I’m sick of you always plugging your, plugging your content on social media. So. Well, I get it, I do. But how often people are going to find out about it? How else am I going to make it financially worthwhile? I mean forget about making a massive profit. How else am I even going to cover my costs and a little bit extra for my time if people don’t know about my content? So of course you have to be very well organised. You have to once you’ve got a, you know, an appointment, a slot lined up to film with someone, you have to keep in touch and make sure that they not going to pull out. There’s for us adult performers before we can release any video there’s a, there’s, there’s a consent process. We have to make sure that all co performers provide their ID and fill in a release form. So I have to make sure that all that is done in advance. So nobody turns up on the day and says oh no, I’m not sure about signing that. You do have to be quite business like in your approach, and well organised. So I think they’re the two biggest lessons I learned.

Jenny R: Yeah, I really agree on that first point about what is erotic and I’ve for a whole of my life, well since the Internet really blew up and porn obviously became the massive thing on the Internet that it is, I’ve always been struck how American style, you know, porn, where every hole’s a goal, it almost becomes gynaecological. I personally like you, you know, kissing and I mean you’ve read my book so you know, it does get steamy but it’s all in service of connection and I think that’s the thing that we’re all you know, striving for is that, that to be with and to feel and feel inside the erotic energy as opposed to a, an observer in a kind of like act.

Jennifer L: Yeah, I mean, you know, I do, I do sometimes enjoy more Hardcore stuff, gang bang stuff stuff. But it’s but, you know, I don’t really want to. I don’t really want to portray myself as meat. a piece of That’s not, that’s not really sexy, is it?

Jenny R: Yeah, I guess what I’m kind of alluding to here is that that seems to be like 99.5% of your definition of pornography. Seems to be like, you can almost plot it out in a 8:12 minute sequence and you can know what’s going to happen almost every minute. and I have a good friend in Australia who she’s called the Pawn queen of Australia. And and she does feminist porn. And it’s almost the opposite of what, I suppose the American style, pornography industry churns, out. And It’s much more resonant for me. And maybe that’s just the feminine energy in me responding to it. I accept that that may well be it. because I don’t, you know, I speak to a lot of blokey men and often I’m like, wow, okay, that’s not. What’s doing it for you is not doing it for me. I want very, very different. And it does begin with femininity and sensuality. Eroticism, touch, intimacy, eye contact, all of that stuff, is very, very potent to me.

Jennifer L: Yeah, I think the mainstream of porn has definitely changed. I mean, especially the way oral sex is portrayed in pornography these days. Like sort of 80, 90% of the time it’s the guy shoving his cock as far as I can get it down a woman’s throat and she’s gagging and sounds like she’s about to, you know, vomit.

Jenny R: Yeah, I don’t get that.

Jennifer L: Yeah, of course, of course a deep throat is nice, but that’s not how most people have oral sex in real life.

Jenny R: And it’s the fact that it’s always present that’s kind of what I’m getting to. So it’s almost like somebody’s written a playbook and said these are the things we need to do and we’re not going to vary from them. And so it all becomes extremely vanilla. You know, paradoxically it’s become so the same that it’s no longer got any. It doesn’t hold a mystique that I really think it should do. I think, for me, pornography and anything erotic should have, it should have that effect on you that is alluring and draws you in. and not just wham, bam, done.

Jennifer L: Yeah, so, so this is why you’re this, this is, I mean, this is why you’re a writer. Because, because, because you get to delve into the characters and their motivations and the, and, and so on and so forth. And I, you know, I’m, I’m, I’m not a writer, but, but I do enjoy reading. So I very much appreciate your, your kind of take on that. Yeah, I mean, it is. I mean, what you do in your, in your writing is very, very hard to even come close to that in a sort of video format, you know, unless you’re making a movie.

Jenny R: so coming back to, your career now, what are you most proud of that you’ve achieved in your career?

Jennifer L: I don’t have a single thing that I can single. One thing I can say, oh, this is, you know, defines my career, I think just really the fact that I have made a relative success out of it because I know so many other trans girls who have tried it. And you know, they may be, they may be younger than me, they may be prettier than me, believe it or not, but, but they’ve, they’ve not approached it with like, the professional attitude. They’ve not had the work ethic that I have. and the fact that I’ve made a relative success out of this, and I have a few hundred subscribers, I’ve done a thousands, but I’m a few hundred. And the fact that I’ve, I’ve invested the time and money in improving the quality of my, of my content, learning How to use the cameras, learning how to do better video editing, learning how to perform for the camera a little bit better, and just producing a better quality of content and just making a relative success out of it. Is this what I’m, is what I’m proud of? you know, I hear from so many, so many girls saying, oh, I’d love to do what you’re doing. How do you do it? And then I sort of always happy to give advice, but then I see them sort of, you know, upload sort of three photo sets and two videos and that’s it within the saying, oh, well, I’ve only got 10 subscribers. What am I doing wrong? So. Well, should be obvious.

Jenny R: It really is a lifestyle choice, isn’t it? You need to commit to the marathon of it. It’s not just, you know, one weekend’s work.

Jennifer L: Yeah. So, you know, the people who subscribe to a platform, I think they, they deserve, value for money in return. Right. so I want to keep the content coming, keep it Quality and you know, repay that. because you know, if someone subscribes to a platform, I think they’re putting a certain amount of faith in you that they’re going to get their money’s worth. So I want to try to repay that.

Jenny R: And I guess we can roll these two questions into one here because we’ve kind of talked around this and I suppose what is the key to success in creating the content that you create? And what advice would you offer somebody who is thinking of moving into this space to create their own brand? What would you say to them?

Jennifer L: Yeah, I mean if we’re going to keep it, I mean if we’re talking trans. Specific presentations, important work on your makeup, getting looking, get it looking as good as you can, take lessons if necessary. This is obviously important. you need to increase your social media profile as much as possible because that’s your shop window. There’s nothing else. You can’t just hope that people are going to stumble upon your profile and say, well, that looks interesting. You really need to work hard at your social media profile and if you don’t have that already, create that before launching your platform. Otherwise you’re just wasting your time. Yeah, if you don’t have like 10,000 plus subscribers on multiple platforms, then you’re going to find it hard think to reach people with your content. So you’ve got, and that is itself hard work. Growing your social media profile is itself hard work, but that’s got to be your first priority, I think. And then just going back on things, I was saying earlier on, look at the quality of your content, the professionalism, of your production, work hard at improving that. And I’ve still got a way to go. I mean my work isn’t professional quality, but it is improving. so yeah, and just be prepared, be prepared for it to take over a big chunk of your life. If you want to make a success of it, you’ve got to treat it as a second job. It’s not, it’s not, it’s not something you can just spend a couple of hours a week on. I don’t think you’re going to make a success of it that way.

Jenny R: I know all too well about the challenges of social media having. I think I’m on my fifth Instagram now. Okay. I keep, I hit, I hit 10,000 followers and then I get shut down, always at 10,000. How can people see your work?

Jennifer L: I have a fan site. Not only fans. I use something called Fan Centro. You can subscribe to that and I strongly do not believe in putting pay per view on my fan site. So once you subscribe you got access to everything. Every video I’ve ever made is on there. I also have a many vids store. Both my fan central and many vids are under the name Jennifer London with London’s built with a U and an E London. So they’re easy to find fan central in many of it. yeah, all my stuff’s up on there. also I’ve a Twitter that you’ve probably seen. So I’ll put clips of all my videos up on there anyway. So even if you don’t want to pay for stuff, you can still get some little 30 second snippets of me doing my thing. I probably give away too much to be honest. But yeah, that’s all up there to see on Twitter.

Jenny R: Yeah. Is there anything you think we should have talked about or anything we should cover?

Jennifer L: Well, one thing I was thinking of is that is, you know, perhaps some parallels with what I, you know, what I’ve read in your work and my own life, my own journey. I think one thing I found really interesting was this, was this Ruby character. It was kind of like a rebellious, slightly older, sort of sort of punky, almost androgynous, but also feminine, kind of a very assertive character. And I found it really interesting to read because I think the first person in my life who really encouraged this side of me was a similar character. A woman about three or four years older than me, sort of punk girl, tattooed and pierced very like. You wouldn’t fuck with her, let’s put it that way. She was a bit of a, bit of a hard ass. But yeah, she, she, she really encouraged you know, my, my feminine side. You know, she’d buy clothes for me. She’d you know, fuck me with a strap on and stuff, you know. So yeah, not. And, and, and she sometimes video with me as well actually. So I think that’s, that’s, that’s a real parallel I saw and one of the reasons why the story resonated with me. So I think another point in there is that I think expressing your sexuality is. There’s, there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s healthy. Bottling up your desires and your sexual identity is, is actually really quite unhealthy. and I don’t want to sound judgmental with that because everybody has their, has their lives and you know that they’re balancing Society’s expectations of them with, you know, the might way they Feel inside. I understand that. But at the same time I think, you know, I don’t think anybody should be apologetic about being true to themselves and doing the things that make them feel fulfilled and sexy. you know, the way I see I’m it, I’m not harming anyone. I’m doing the exact opposite. I’m bringing pleasure to myself and hopefully other people as well. you and know, being, I think being true to myself, I don’t think bottling of that up would help anyone.

Jenny R: It really doesn’t. And you know, I, you know, turn a camera lens on myself for that. you know, not being shining example of it. But every time I kind of really think about it, I realise just how ridiculously harmless it all is. Like it really is utterly harmless. And what’s anybody got any opinion about why didn’t even have opinions about it. It’s really utterly ridiculous. Okay, so I think we’re coming to an end. Any final thoughts then? as we. Because it went all sombre at the end. I see you there. I see you there in your black stockings and suspenders and looking gorgeous. I’m feeling very envious of you being on camera, to be that version of you.

Jennifer L: I have a gentleman friend coming to visit this afternoon.

Jenny R: Oh, fabulous. Lucky you.

Jennifer L: So I thought I may as well get ready for our chat.

Jenny R: Well, it’s, it’s been a real pleasure. I’ve enjoyed every single moment of it and I can’t wait to post, produce it and then get it up onto my website and my socials and obviously I’ll thank you. Any final bits of wisdom to share with with those girls out here on the Internet?

Jennifer L: Be true to yourself and remember, it’s not, it’s not hurting anyone. And if you feel that you’re, if you feel that you’re sensual side, your sexual side is feminine and let’s say you feel satisfied and fulfilled, then just don’t be afraid to embrace it because there’s plenty of us. There’s plenty of us who do. It’s not unusual, it’s not odd, it’s not unhealthy.

Jenny R: Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us and I can’t wait to watch your next video.

Jennifer L: Thank you, Jenny. Speak to you soon.